Blemished Love
by AwesomeGoldfish
Summary: Hikaru has told Haruhi how he feels but what about Kaoru? Written in Kaoru's POV. One-shot. Twincest, you've been warned. Based off the song 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy.


**Hey guys I just wrote this because I had writers block on my other stories and I am taking out my relationship emotions on Hikaru and Kaoru. Sorry Hitachiin twins. Hope you guys like it and please review. The only way I'm going to get better is by knowing what I'm bad at. **

**The story is based on the song Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anyone or anything... unfortunately **

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I sat in the club room. Remembering everything we had gone through together. The thing that occupied the majority of my mind was the relationship between... us. I remembered all those times when our parents tried to separate us, those nights I would sneak into your room and you would hold me close to you. You would mumble sweet nothings into my ear and hold me close to you.

Then we met Haruhi. Everything got turned upside down. I guess this was supposed to be a good thing. I looked through the window I was sitting in front of and saw you standing in the courtyard with her.  
I got up and ran down there, I had a feeling something was going to happen. Were you going to finally leave our small isolated world? The thought of it sort of scarred me.

"I love you Haruhi." was all I heard. I stopped a metre away but you didn't know that. I felt my eyes start to sting with tears, threatening to spill. My heart smashed into thousands and thousands of pieces. I had to bite back a sob. No, I should be happy for you.

I had always had the childish thought that we could stay together forever. That I could stay with you and we could be happy together. I was stupid to think that. You saw me and smiled radiantly. I smiled back, covering up every trace of sadness.

I felt sick. I shouldn't. I should feel happy for you. You were making a life for yourself... for some reason, I don't think it involves me. I couldn't look into you liquid gold eyes, you would uncover my sadness there. It would be easy for you. Instead looked at Haruhi, that was also a mistake. Her big brown eyes bore into me, sadness sat behind them.

I couldn't stand either of your staring anymore. I muttered a congratulations and excused myself. Only just making it to the safety if the club room before bursting into tears. Why was I being like this? I already new that answer to that but I always asked it anyway. It was so confusing, I just wanted to be happy for you both and not have to be so selfish or wrapped up in my own stupid emotions.

I heard the door open and close, two pairs of footsteps came closer to me. I hoped with my heart it wasn't you and her. I looked up through blurry and tear filled eyes. I saw the figures of Honey and Mori. I just burst into more fits of sobs. I couldn't take this. Honey hugged me and tried to comfort me but we both knew nothing would help.

"I-I have to g-go." I spluttered out.  
"Kao-chan!" Honey called. "Wait!"  
I didn't wait. I ran out the door, out the school grounds. As far away as I could get from everyone. Especially you and her. My blurred vision got worse the further I ran. Why? Why? Why? That's all I could think. My cheeks burned where the tears had made paths.

I ended up back at home. I ran straight up to one of the guest rooms, you'd look for me in our room. I cried until there was no more tears to cry. I knew you didn't love me like I loved you but I always clung to that faint hope. That hope was now gone.

I heard the door downstairs open and close quickly. I guessed it was you. I needed to get out of here. I heard you run upstairs and into our room. I searched for a place to escape you but to no prevail. A fresh set of tears came to my eyes. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to cover up the sobs. I had to be quiet, you'd find me if I wasn't.

The door opened slowly and I looked up to see you there. Your face emotionless. I wanted to be sick, to forget about you and her. I wanted to leave... Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. I thought it over in my head, it was better than being endlessly tortured by you and her.

I remembered that time when we never cared for others, it was just us. Why couldn't we go back to that? Why can't we shut out the world again? It was selfish to think like that but I didn't care. You walked over and sat on the bed, pulling me into your chest.

I pulled away and stood up. You looked surprised.  
"Do you know what you're doing to me Hikaru?!" I screamed at you. I wanted you to realise how much you were hurting me, how much this was killing me inside. I turned to run again, I wanted to get away from you.

"Wait Kao." You said, grabbing my wrist.  
I pulled free and ran into our room, locking the door and sitting on the bed. You tried to open the door, realising it was locked you sat down with your back leaning on the door. I heard choked sobs from the other side of the door. I crawled over to it and sat with me back leaning against the wooden door.

"Please don't cry, Hikaru." I whispered.  
Your sobs continued to flow freely. I hated seeing or hearing in you like this. You'd be happier with Haruhi, I couldn't give you the love she could.  
I gave a sad smile to no one, and silent tears flowed.  
"You'll be happier with her, you love her." I whispered again.

I knew you had heard me but you stayed silent. You could feel that horrible smile I was wearing.  
"But I want you to be h-happy too." You said, your voice sounding so distressed.  
I smiled. I love you Hikaru. And you love me. Just not in the way I wish you did.  
"You know that won't work." I replied.  
"Why not?"  
"Because I am in love with you Hikaru, I love you more than a brother should."  
Everything went silent, my tears rolled off my face and landed onto the carpet silently.

"Do you see now? I-I just can't-" I started.  
"Let me in Kaoru." You interrupted.  
I relented and opened the door, you pulled me close to you and hugged me.  
I let you, embracing your warmth. I didn't want to see you with her tomorrow, I didn't trust myself to not break out in tears when I saw you and her together.  
"Are you okay now?"  
"Yeah I'm fine Hikaru.

I pretended everything was fine after that, during dinner and even after that I acted as though nothing had ever happened. Though the image of you and her this afternoon was burned into my brain, I wanted to forget, I wanted you to just be mine again. I sighed, that wasn't going to happen. We had expanded our world to much so now there was no going back.

Also the love I have for you is incestuous, it wasn't allowed. It is narcissistic too, people say it's like being in love with yourself. I think that's false. We are two different people no matter how alike we look. It was time for us to get ready to go to sleep, I didn't want to do this anymore.

"Hikaru?" I asked when we were about to go to sleep. "You do know what I meant when I said I loved you before?"  
"I know what you meant Kaoru." You said before rolling over and going to sleep.  
I couldn't sleep, I had tried and even not tried but sleep would not come. I had decided I would leave. I can't stand this. I had no idea where I was going, I'll figure it out on the way.

I got up and started packing but only the bare essentials. I had to do this quietly as to not wake you. I sat at our shared desk and wrote a letter telling you I was leaving, I placed it on my pillow and quickly exited the room. I don't want to hold you back, I'm sorry for doing for so long.

I didn't take the car, instead I walked. You could easily get the driver to tell you where I'd gone. I headed for Honey's house. If I asked he wouldn't tell you I was here. I knocked on the door and I surprised Honey answered the door.  
"Kao-chan-?" he started.  
"Can I please stay here?" I asked.  
He thankfully let me stay, agreeing not to tell where I was.

I slept but hardly, always waking with images of you on my mind. I refused to go to school the next day, instead I sat under a sakura tree that was in bloom. It was a few minutes walk from Honey's house. I took in the scenery. Beautiful rolling mountains, lush green in colour. The sky was a deep blue and everything was silent. It was peaceful.

How was I going to live without you? It was hard splitting from you for school but for this... I don't know if I could handle it. You where my everything. I hope you were happy with Haruhi and you didn't forget me. Just be happy Hikaru... that's all I want you to be.

I gave a sad smile to the beautiful scenery. I wonder what you were doing right now? Where you enjoying the day with your new girlfriend? Were you happy you didn't have to worry about upsetting me anymore? I didn't mind, Haruhi was great for you. She was the only person who had crossed into our world.

I closed my eyes and just remembered you. My thoughts were interrupted by a car pulling into Honey's driveway. I didn't bother to open my eyes, it was probably Honey arriving back from school. I was however surprised to feel a shadow be cast over me. I opened my eyes to see you looking down at me.

"Hika-" I started but you cut me off.  
You pulled me into a hug. "Don't you **ever** do something like that again! Do you know how worried I was?"  
I smiled calmly and melted into your arms.  
"I'm sorry." I whispered. You grip on me tighten and I felt you smile.

"I forgive you."  
You loosened your grip so I could look at you. I smiled and you smiled back.  
I was right I couldn't live without you so I won't even try. I wanted to forget you but then I realised if I forgot you... I would forget everything. All my brilliant times and all my horrible times. I was glad to be back in your arms. You leant down and kissed me, without hesitating I kissed back.

This is how we will always be. Together.  
"I love you Hikaru."  
"I love you too Kaoru."  
I know not everyone is lucky enough to have there relationship turn out fine like ours. We then left, hand in hand.  
not caring what anyone else thought or said

Two halves became one, and will stay that way for eternity.

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**I know it's one of those fairy tail endings that hardly ever happen, I thought about changing it where Kaoru left and that was it but I couldn't do it. I felt taking out my emotions on them. But anyways I hope you guys liked it. Please review and tell me what you thought.**


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